You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
