I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
