just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
