just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
