YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
