i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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