I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
