I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Randomize
