Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
