i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
