I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
