i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
