we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
