I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
