that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
