if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
