my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
