i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize