what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize