Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
