I've blown a few things in my day
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
