the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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