Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
