i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
