Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I think I have vodka in my lungs
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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