Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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