There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
