oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
