Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
