it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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