i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
