she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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