I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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