I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
