the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
