i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
