saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We're not piercing ourselves today.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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