So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
3pm strippers are depressing
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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