so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
