Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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