Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize