All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
