At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
