i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize