your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she pinky promised me she was 18
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
