I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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