your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
