Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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