Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
