At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
