I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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