what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
