i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
