dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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