He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
