i think my mom watched the whole time
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
