i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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