You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
