And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
