Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
A+ Viking dick
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
