and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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